“When I was at the Academy Awards for Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, I was presenting. I told him how nervous I was. He said, ‘Sweetie, you’ll be absolutely fine.’ As I walked across the stage, I sought him out in the crowd. He gave me a big, fat wink, and a little quiet thumbs up. It helped. We really have stayed very good friends.”
I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus, I couldn’t speak anyway. I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn’t. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically… disappear.
Sometimes, you need to do something bad to stop you from doing something worse.